Life Advice, Personal Perspective, NIH BEST Blog Rewind
Part 1 of 2
In Fall 2018, I started writing a series of pieces for the NIH Broadening Experiences in Scientific Training (BEST) Student/Postdoc Blog. As these pieces are no longer accessible online, I wanted to re-share them in a continuing series: NIH BEST Blog Rewind. Here, I will add some additional thoughts to what was originally authored in early 2019, denoted in bold (dark red) throughout the piece.
North Carolina State University’s athletic teams have a wolf pack as a mascot. “Wolfpack” is obviously not a singular character (which makes creating a mascot tricky but I digress…) but a group of wolves who live and hunt together.
All over campus you see the quote from Rudyard Kipling:
“The strength of the pack is the wolf and the strength of the wolf is the pack.”
Reflecting on my transition into my first post-postdoc role as Postdoc Program Manager at NC State and now in a new role leading the creation of an Office of Postdoctoral Affairs at Virginia Tech, I am appreciative of the supportive group of advocates, colleagues, friends, and mentors I have assembled over the years from my postdoctoral training time at Vanderbilt, professional associations (the Graduate Career Consortium in particular), and work. They helped me land my position at NC State and gave me the confidence to pursue this new opportunity at Virginia Tech.
All over campus you see the quote from Rudyard Kipling:
“The strength of the pack is the wolf and the strength of the wolf is the pack.”
Reflecting on my transition into my first post-postdoc role as Postdoc Program Manager at NC State and now in a new role leading the creation of an Office of Postdoctoral Affairs at Virginia Tech, I am appreciative of the supportive group of advocates, colleagues, friends, and mentors I have assembled over the years from my postdoctoral training time at Vanderbilt, professional associations (the Graduate Career Consortium in particular), and work. They helped me land my position at NC State and gave me the confidence to pursue this new opportunity at Virginia Tech.
Establishing Personal Advocates & Advisors for Your Career Search and Advancement
When I received my first job offer to join NC State, I turned to colleagues in the BRET Office of Career Development (especially Ashley Brady) and Office of Postdoctoral Affairs (OPA, Irene McKirgan) at Vanderbilt University, where I worked as a postdoctoral researcher from August 2014 to January 2019. They encouraged me to negotiate for a more competitive salary (which you can read more about here). They were also instrumental in serving as references for me as I applied for the Postdoc Program Manager position. It was important to have advocates for me who knew more intimately about the work I did with the Vanderbilt Postdoctoral Association (VPA) and the National Postdoctoral Association. Ashley and Irene saw me assist in a variety of career development and other programming offered at Vanderbilt through BRET, OPA, and the VPA. They could convey to the hiring manager my passion and commitment to postdoc support and career development. I had established relationships with the two of them over a 2-3 year period before they ultimately served as references. So, I believe their recommendations were genuine and from a place of truly knowing me and seeing what I could contribute in the postdoc development area.
The key point here for current graduate students and postdoctoral scholars is that you should establish relationships with individuals outside your main research advisor, especially if those individuals are in areas you might be interested in pursuing as a career. But, regardless of whether you go in a particular career direction, just get involved with organizations on your campus, in your community, and/or nationally. You will need broad advocates for you who can speak to your commitment, teamwork, organization, and ability to get things done and those you work with in these non-work/lab capacities will be able to do that. They may also be able to emphasize the soft skills of people management better than your research advisor can because they see you function in a different capacity. Critically, you should be cultivating these relationships before you need them.
The key point here for current graduate students and postdoctoral scholars is that you should establish relationships with individuals outside your main research advisor, especially if those individuals are in areas you might be interested in pursuing as a career. But, regardless of whether you go in a particular career direction, just get involved with organizations on your campus, in your community, and/or nationally. You will need broad advocates for you who can speak to your commitment, teamwork, organization, and ability to get things done and those you work with in these non-work/lab capacities will be able to do that. They may also be able to emphasize the soft skills of people management better than your research advisor can because they see you function in a different capacity. Critically, you should be cultivating these relationships before you need them.
Most Research Advisors Will Support You in Whatever Career Path You Choose
Hopefully, the lab you are training in as a graduate student or postdoc is also supportive of you and your career, even if it is not a faculty career path. I was initially hesitant to discuss my interest in a non-faculty career with my postdoc advisor, David Zald (now at Rutgers). When I did bring up the subject to him, though, he was very supportive. I think most Principal Investigators (PIs) understand the competitiveness of the faculty job market necessitates the need for their trainees to explore non-faculty careers. Most, I think, want to see their trainees succeed in whatever endeavor they undertake after their time in the lab. That being said, many PIs have limited knowledge of how to best position oneself for a career in industry, the government, etc., but that doesn’t mean they can’t connect you to people in their network that may be able to help or allow you time to take part in activities that will assist you in learning more about your career options. My postdoc advisor was supportive of me taking part in professional development activities while at Vanderbilt as well as participating and taking on leadership opportunities in the VPA, which, as mentioned above, was critical in leading me to my current career path.
The Importance of a Positive and Supportive Work Environment
Transitioning to a new work environment is always a challenge, especially if it is in an area that is outside your previous one. In early 2019 I went from a research-focused position as a postdoc to an administrative position as a program manager. My new role required interacting with a variety of individuals at NC State: postdocs, faculty, department administrators, college/university administrators (in HR, international services, ombuds office), colleagues in the Graduate School, potential outside speakers, etc… Communication and building relationships was key in this new role. Thankfully, my colleagues in the Graduate School worked to introduce me to key individuals at the University. I also was proactive in establishing these relationships: emailing individuals suggested by my colleagues to meet up for coffee, lunch, etc… Establishing personal relationships with the people you work or interact with professionally is critical to building trust and respect, which will be vital when complex or difficult situations inevitably arise. You don’t want your first ask to be coming from someone that the person has never met and/or heard from previously. People are more likely to help you if they know you.
Another key component of a positive work environment is a supervisor that gives you autonomy as well as support. They also need to provide direction and leadership to ensure a team is working together toward a common set of goals and objectives. In my role at NC State, the first attribute was excellent (autonomy in my work) while the later (leadership) left much to be desired. Being a leader is different than being a boss or supervisor. It isn't easy to lead, though, especially if the environment prevents one from driving projects and initiatives forward either via bureaucratic roadblocks, resource limitations/inaccessibility, or lack of transparency. Acknowledging all of that, regardless of the cause of a situation where one does not feel supported by leadership, at some point one must decide if they think the situation can improve or if they must improve their situation either through pushing for change or searching for other opportunities. I tried both.
A Foot in the Door
To reflect a bit, despite negotiating a higher initial salary than was originally offered, I started in my position at NC State with the feeling that I was being underpaid. I tried to rationalize to myself that I had to "prove" myself to leadership for them to see my worth to the organization. In some ways, I think this line of thinking was reasonable. I was fresh out of a postdoc and working to support postdocs as a postdoc (which I had done at Vanderbilt) versus performing this work as a full time staff member (which I would be doing at NC State) are quite different things. In essence, we all have to start somewhere and the first job you land right after graduate school or postdoctoral training is most likely going to be a stepping stone to other positions in the future. Typically, you can only develop skills relevant to your line of work by being involved in the work. And once you obtain some experience working in a sector, that makes you more marketable for other opportunities in that sector. In addition, working in a professional role allows you to begin to see what aspects of the work you enjoy versus dislike, are good at, and need to improve in. My experience at NC State was no different.
Learning About Myself as a Professional
In my role at NC State, I realized I did not like the human resources (HR) oversight function that comprised about 5-10 hours of my typical working week. I performed that work diligently and tried to find ways to create better resources and documentation to assist department, unit, and college HR representatives with the goal of lessening my HR burden in the long run. A big aspect of this work was fielding HR questions and requests from various representatives across campus and trying to take a customer service approach to that work. People come to HR when they need something done or solved and as such it can feel very transactional. I personally found it quite unfulfilling and gained a new respect for individuals that work in this space.
Early in my time at NC State I was also encouraged to offer more career and professional development programing for graduate students and postdocs and worked to develop and launch a career exploration series in Fall 2020. In addition to this, I often gave guest presentations or co-presentations for or with other members of our Graduate School Professional Development Team. It was nice to hear from my colleagues and supervisor that they saw me as an effective presenter and facilitator of these workshops and programs. I didn't have much pedagogical training going into the role at NC State and so hearing from those with that expertise and experience that I was good at program delivery gave me increased confidence in that skillset.
Early in my time at NC State I was also encouraged to offer more career and professional development programing for graduate students and postdocs and worked to develop and launch a career exploration series in Fall 2020. In addition to this, I often gave guest presentations or co-presentations for or with other members of our Graduate School Professional Development Team. It was nice to hear from my colleagues and supervisor that they saw me as an effective presenter and facilitator of these workshops and programs. I didn't have much pedagogical training going into the role at NC State and so hearing from those with that expertise and experience that I was good at program delivery gave me increased confidence in that skillset.
To summarize, my first few years at NC State helped me realize what I didn't want to do in the postdoctoral affairs space (HR) and that I could be an effective facilitator and teacher in the career & professional development space. I grew as a professional during my three years at State and I am grateful they gave me the opportunity and autonomy to shape the role in a way that benefited me professionally and the postdoctoral community I served.
Despite all this, during my second year in the role I began to feel that I was reaching a point where I needed to see a future at the institution where my impact was recognized and supported and I spent most of 2021 wrestling with my future there.
Despite all this, during my second year in the role I began to feel that I was reaching a point where I needed to see a future at the institution where my impact was recognized and supported and I spent most of 2021 wrestling with my future there.
Campaigning for Change
As I began to offer more programming and continued to add to the various processes and offerings of the NC State Office of Postdoctoral Affairs, I realized I could not continue doing all the added work (at least not sustainably). I discussed with my supervisor the need to diminish my direct involvement with postdoc HR administration. I argued it took away time for potentially more impactful programs and initiatives I could be leading for postdocs and graduate students at NC State. I even wrote a white paper asking for administrative support that highlighted how much time I was spending on "routine" HR processes and what I could have been doing instead (developing resources for faculty to assist in postdoc recruitment and mentoring, for example). I was told the request would be brought to the Dean for consideration. Hiring restrictions and budget uncertainty from the COVID-19 pandemic resulted in it taking over 1.5 years for that administrative support to come and only as part of retention offer - more on that in next month's post.
What made the experience of asking for administrative support so frustrating to me wasn't that it took so long or that they didn't do it initially...it was that there was ZERO communication about where the request stood. There was no constructive dialogue with leadership around my request and what it would take to address it or further discussion of current limitations that prevented them from addressing it. Some of this may have been inferred (COVID-related restrictions) but I could have benefited from a more direct discussion of the issues and how we could work together to plan to address them in the long run. I can take "no" for an answer but I need to understand the justification...the why...behind a decision. It seemed to me leadership did not want to engage on this topic. I think they thought silence on their part was an answer, which I guess in a way it was. The answer it sent, as I interpreted it, was "don't ask for things and be happy with what you have". In my eyes, there was very little future thinking or foresight in what we could do at NC State but rather a focus on what we had done (ie, stay in your lane; keep doing what you're doing). Many organizations think this way but it was important to me that I could see a bright future for myself, the office, and team at NC State.
What made the experience of asking for administrative support so frustrating to me wasn't that it took so long or that they didn't do it initially...it was that there was ZERO communication about where the request stood. There was no constructive dialogue with leadership around my request and what it would take to address it or further discussion of current limitations that prevented them from addressing it. Some of this may have been inferred (COVID-related restrictions) but I could have benefited from a more direct discussion of the issues and how we could work together to plan to address them in the long run. I can take "no" for an answer but I need to understand the justification...the why...behind a decision. It seemed to me leadership did not want to engage on this topic. I think they thought silence on their part was an answer, which I guess in a way it was. The answer it sent, as I interpreted it, was "don't ask for things and be happy with what you have". In my eyes, there was very little future thinking or foresight in what we could do at NC State but rather a focus on what we had done (ie, stay in your lane; keep doing what you're doing). Many organizations think this way but it was important to me that I could see a bright future for myself, the office, and team at NC State.
Go Above and Beyond?
Throughout my time in the role at NC State, I felt I went "above and beyond" my job description as I sought ways to add value to the team and unit. For example, during my first year on the job, I worked with a graduate student assistant to launch a new blog on the Graduate School's website - ImPACKful - to better highlight campus resources, career and professional development tips, and spotlight current and past graduate students and postdocs. I felt it important to provide another outlet to reach our constituents and tell stories around the impact our career and professional development programming was having as I didn't think the broader campus community knew enough about us and our work. By my last count, our ImPACKful Blog had received 41,000+ unique page views since we launched it in August 2019. It is something I am very proud I developed and supported even if there was very little acknowledgement from Graduate School leadership of its value.
In short, this experience epitomized a recurrent feeling I had during my time at State: I felt I went above and beyond and no one in leadership really cared. There was certainly a "nice job" comment but I don't think leadership saw the potential of what we could do with the platform. I envisioned it as a way to have current trainees learn about informational interviews and then tell alumni stories via the blog. It seemed like it could be a great platform for student/postdoc learning, networking, and brand building but it was never a unit priority. In the end, we produced less frequent pieces as I failed to see any future where leadership would support these efforts (ie, give me the bandwidth to pursue organizing content with more intention). And the COVID-19 pandemic certainly made any attempt at asking for more resources and support even more challenging.
In short, this experience epitomized a recurrent feeling I had during my time at State: I felt I went above and beyond and no one in leadership really cared. There was certainly a "nice job" comment but I don't think leadership saw the potential of what we could do with the platform. I envisioned it as a way to have current trainees learn about informational interviews and then tell alumni stories via the blog. It seemed like it could be a great platform for student/postdoc learning, networking, and brand building but it was never a unit priority. In the end, we produced less frequent pieces as I failed to see any future where leadership would support these efforts (ie, give me the bandwidth to pursue organizing content with more intention). And the COVID-19 pandemic certainly made any attempt at asking for more resources and support even more challenging.
That experience left me wondering if there was value in going "above and beyond" in this workplace. I began to sense the culture preferred everyone stay in their lane and not do too much. Now certainly this culture could have been the result of limited resources that meant leadership could not incentivize exceptional performance or that they did not want to deal with how such actions might be perceived by others in the unit (ie, introducing "inequities" in compensation between teams or individuals within teams). In a way, I understand their motivations. In the end, though, one has to decide if they are OK with the work culture they find themselves in.
Waiting for Resources and Support
The COVID-19 pandemic made accessing resources and support more difficult than it had already been in my first year on the job. Again, I don't hold any particular individual at fault for our situation back then but our team was understaffed (we lost a team member in January 2020 who was never functionally replaced) and felt unsupported during those long 16 months between March 2020 and July 2021 when we worked 100% virtually.
What I learned in those tough months in 2020 that bled into 2021 was that I really needed to engage with my work colleagues, hear their perspectives of the situation, and find solidarity in working together to create a better environment for all of us. It was easy to feel isolated as we moved to remote work but I felt engaging with my colleagues during the spring and summer of 2020 in particular allowed me a better understanding of the professional situation we all had found ourselves in.
Through discussions with them, it became apparent that no one on the team felt very supported and many of us did not see much leadership happening above us. We all struggled with setting priorities as our work seemed to be never ending. Many of us have a service mindset and it was difficult to not feel like we needed to respond to students and postdocs or campus stakeholders asking for help and support during those many months of COVID-related uncertainty. And while we were all "adults" with some agency over our work situation, without a clear strategy of where we were trying to go, what we were trying to accomplish as a team, and our ultimate priorities and goals (specifically as they related to university and unit priorities), we felt increasingly despondent. Hope is a powerful thing and we increasingly were losing faith that things would get better.
I am a pragmatist and so understood COVID made increased support and resources an issue at the moment but what I needed to hear from leadership, and never did, was how we could begin planning and prioritizing for the future. What did institutional leadership care about and how could our team work toward providing and communicating value so we would be better supported in the long run? We never got a straight answer here either because Graduate School leadership did not know or did not have the bandwidth to find out as it wrestled with other COVID-related issues. Regardless of the reasoning, as the situation showed no signs of improving, I realized I needed to start considering other opportunities.
What I learned in those tough months in 2020 that bled into 2021 was that I really needed to engage with my work colleagues, hear their perspectives of the situation, and find solidarity in working together to create a better environment for all of us. It was easy to feel isolated as we moved to remote work but I felt engaging with my colleagues during the spring and summer of 2020 in particular allowed me a better understanding of the professional situation we all had found ourselves in.
Through discussions with them, it became apparent that no one on the team felt very supported and many of us did not see much leadership happening above us. We all struggled with setting priorities as our work seemed to be never ending. Many of us have a service mindset and it was difficult to not feel like we needed to respond to students and postdocs or campus stakeholders asking for help and support during those many months of COVID-related uncertainty. And while we were all "adults" with some agency over our work situation, without a clear strategy of where we were trying to go, what we were trying to accomplish as a team, and our ultimate priorities and goals (specifically as they related to university and unit priorities), we felt increasingly despondent. Hope is a powerful thing and we increasingly were losing faith that things would get better.
I am a pragmatist and so understood COVID made increased support and resources an issue at the moment but what I needed to hear from leadership, and never did, was how we could begin planning and prioritizing for the future. What did institutional leadership care about and how could our team work toward providing and communicating value so we would be better supported in the long run? We never got a straight answer here either because Graduate School leadership did not know or did not have the bandwidth to find out as it wrestled with other COVID-related issues. Regardless of the reasoning, as the situation showed no signs of improving, I realized I needed to start considering other opportunities.
The Importance of Trust in a Professional Relationship
While there were several issues that influenced my decision to begin looking for another opportunity (some of which I highlighted above), the biggest one was a lack of trust. Lack of trust in my boss, her boss, and the university. This isn't meant to point fingers and I still don't know what parties were at fault but what was clear to me was that communication and trust had deteriorated severely over the course of the pandemic.
I don't think our team was alone in experiencing this loss in trust, especially during the pandemic.
Trust is central to psychological safety. If we don't trust that the topics and issues we raise will be dealt with, why raise them? If we don't trust that the leadership above us can work together to support us as professionals but also our work and those we serve, why rely on them?
Communication is key to building trust and understanding. I think the major issue that emerged during my time at NC State was poor communication between leadership and staff in our unit. Certainly Zoom meetings and not seeing colleagues and leadership in-person made it difficult for open communication to take place. And I am sure my boss and her boss were dealing with a lot during 2020-2021. However, they never really communicated to our team what there professional challenges were. Perhaps we could have helped them respond to some of them? Maybe the Dean needed to better justify to the Provost how the Graduate School could be a hub of resources and support that increases the efficiency of financial resources at the institution? I think our team could have been a model for that...we served all colleges and units and, I believe, added value by bringing together students and postdocs from different disciplinary backgrounds to learn from one another. Yes, each college or unit at NC State could offer career and professional development programming (and many do) but is that the best use of our limited resources?
It is hard to provide real value to leadership when leadership does not communicate to you want they value. Working toward a common goal is impossible without communication and understanding around what that goal is.
I don't think our team was alone in experiencing this loss in trust, especially during the pandemic.
Trust is central to psychological safety. If we don't trust that the topics and issues we raise will be dealt with, why raise them? If we don't trust that the leadership above us can work together to support us as professionals but also our work and those we serve, why rely on them?
Communication is key to building trust and understanding. I think the major issue that emerged during my time at NC State was poor communication between leadership and staff in our unit. Certainly Zoom meetings and not seeing colleagues and leadership in-person made it difficult for open communication to take place. And I am sure my boss and her boss were dealing with a lot during 2020-2021. However, they never really communicated to our team what there professional challenges were. Perhaps we could have helped them respond to some of them? Maybe the Dean needed to better justify to the Provost how the Graduate School could be a hub of resources and support that increases the efficiency of financial resources at the institution? I think our team could have been a model for that...we served all colleges and units and, I believe, added value by bringing together students and postdocs from different disciplinary backgrounds to learn from one another. Yes, each college or unit at NC State could offer career and professional development programming (and many do) but is that the best use of our limited resources?
It is hard to provide real value to leadership when leadership does not communicate to you want they value. Working toward a common goal is impossible without communication and understanding around what that goal is.
Daring to Lead
Many have heard of Dr. Brené Brown and her work on leadership. There is a lot to unpack in her work and I encourage you to checkout the Dare to Lead Hub on her website for readings and resources.
She defines great leadership as:
Reflecting on this and my own experience working at NC State, I think I better understand what it takes to lead effectively and how difficult it can be through times of stress and uncertainty. Leadership is tough and giving leaders and supervisors the tools and resources they need to lead teams and organizations effectively is critical.
During those tough months in 2020-2021 I also obtained the courage to take ownership and leadership of my own career by searching for opportunities at institutions that valued me and my work. More on that job search journey in next month's post.
Until then, try to be both vulnerable, honest, and courageous in all you do. And realize, sometimes an environment is just not working for you and change is necessary to grow and thrive in your work and life. Taking that first step toward change can be really scary but with the right support network and attitude, it is possible.
She defines great leadership as:
- Recognizing potential - Leaders elevate and support others in realizing their potential; they should not be threatened by the potential of those that report to them but rather see them as an asset to the organization.
- Taking responsibility - Leaders must lead by owning their decisions and responsibility as a leader.
- Being:
- Vulnerable
- Honest
- Courageous
Reflecting on this and my own experience working at NC State, I think I better understand what it takes to lead effectively and how difficult it can be through times of stress and uncertainty. Leadership is tough and giving leaders and supervisors the tools and resources they need to lead teams and organizations effectively is critical.
During those tough months in 2020-2021 I also obtained the courage to take ownership and leadership of my own career by searching for opportunities at institutions that valued me and my work. More on that job search journey in next month's post.
Until then, try to be both vulnerable, honest, and courageous in all you do. And realize, sometimes an environment is just not working for you and change is necessary to grow and thrive in your work and life. Taking that first step toward change can be really scary but with the right support network and attitude, it is possible.
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